Daily Thoughts of a Second Pregnancy

     I have to apologize for the lull in posts, but I do have a good excuse: I'm pregnant again! We couldn't be more excited to give Charley a little sister come July. We did the early genetic testing to determine the gender because we just couldn't wait this time. Charley, now 18 months, doesn't truly grasp what is happening but she does point to my belly (which is pretty much just a large muffin top at this point) and say "baby." Last night, she bent down to (presumably) kiss my belly which actually turned into her biting my belly. She thought it was hilarious. Me, not so much.

     So far this pregnancy has been drastically different from the first. I was sure I was having a boy for that reason so I was shocked to find out it was another girl. Circumstances this time are very different, though, so that certainly has something to do with it. For one, I am not working full time night shift which I was the first time. I currently work part time day shift (2 days a week) which is just perfect for me. Many people ask me if I'll stop working eventually but I have no desire to do so. I love my job and know my baby is well taken care of at home with her dad or grandmother. But I digress. Another major difference this time around is that I have an extremely active toddler to chase around. While it sounds terrible when all you want to do is curl up in a bed and watch Netflix all day and eat saltines and ginger ale, I find that she forces me to get up and be active which actually contributed to me feeling better in the first trimester. I must say it has been quite hard to balance her, the pregnancy, work, and ACK Wrap, so sadly ACK Wrap has been on the back burner as we prepare for some major life changes this year. 

     One very big change this time around that causes me a lot of guilt is missing my non-pregnant life. With Charley, I was SO excited to be pregnant and while I was miserable the first trimester, I loved being pregnant for the most part. I never felt like I was missing out on anything. This time, while it wasn't a complete shock to learn I was pregnant, I hadn't mentally prepared myself for the pregnancy yet. Don't get me wrong, I am beyond excited and I think the timing is actually perfect for us. But I sure am missing my wine. Last week, we went with some friends to Aspen for a few days and it really hit me how limited I was. I couldn't ski or snowboard, couldn't drink, couldn't even go in the hot tub or sauna. We had an absolute blast regardless, but it felt almost sinful to be in Aspen and not be able to hit the slopes. Even as I write this, I realize I sound like I'm whining and I have a lot of guilt for feeling this way, but I am just being honest. 

     For now, I am a couple weeks into the magical second trimester and enjoying having some energy back finally. For the most part, I am over the nausea and vomiting, although it wasn't nearly as bad this time around. I am falling deeper and deeper in love with Charley everyday and watching her blossom into this seriously awesome little person. I am also wondering if it is possible to love another child so much, though I know this is a natural feeling that will fade when I see my new baby girl for the first time. I am excited for our big life changes coming in the next few months (more to come on that soon). For right now, my focus is on my babies and my family. Stay tuned!