Man, I'm a little taken aback right now and feel inclined to write. Recently, in a mom's blog that I follow and am closely connected with, a mom blogger opened up about making the decision to go back to work leaving her twin babies and toddler in day care. The article was honest and open on a pretty personal topic. While many moms applauded her, the comments turned nasty and quickly turned to shaming her. At one point she was called selfish. "Too bad for the kids," someone else wrote.
While reading these posts, I had tears in my eyes for this mother. Here she is with a toddler and now pregnant... with TWINS no less. Twins are incredible, but I would be terrified! I doubt that the decision for her not to be a stay at home mom was not just determined on a whim. It is a difficult decision for any parent to have to make and she is doing what she and her husband believe is best for their family.
What I can't figure out is how it got to be socially acceptable to be so outright judgmental and nasty to each other. As women, we should be building each other up and supporting one another. I understand we are in the age of cyber-socialization. Cyber bullying (as much as I hate using that term) is very real and it's easy to say whatever comes to mind sitting in front of a computer screen. The middle school cattiness truly never goes away for some women and that gives females a bad rap. Shaming one another for having different parenting styles and choices is horrible. We should be positive and supportive, as MOTHERS, setting an example for the little people we are each raising.
As I am writing this, I don't want to come across as if I'm on my own high horse. I have judged and had differing opinions than other mothers. I have said the words, "Why have kids if they are going to be in day care all day every day?" I am ashamed to admit this because who am I to judge another mother? Just because that is not right for ME and my family personally, I would never attack another mother for making that difficult choice. We should be applauding one another's strengths, different as they may be from our own. How fortunate for us as women that we are in the day and age to be able to have a career AND be a great mom.
At the end of the day, focus on your own life and family. To the moms writing the nasty, derogatory comments to other moms on any online forum, maybe you need to look internally and question why you feel the need to put someone else down. Too much free time? Hopefully you're writing these comments while your own kiddos are sleeping. Why not try to find something positive out of a difference of opinion. If not, remember what they told you when you were five: "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all."